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Prepare to Ace That Job Interview, Sales Call, or Presentation with These Simple Strategies

How is a job interview, an important sales call, or a big presentation just like when your turn comes in Olympic Competition? In all of these, your future hinges on how well you perform in the next few minutes.  How can you increase your chances of succeeding?

As any Olympic Athlete will tell you – it’s mostly about the work you do to prepare yourself.  When it comes to that job interview, sales call, etc., it’s really no different.  So, how to be prepared?

Of course it’s essential that  your preparation include planning what you’ll say.  However, studies have shown that words make up only 7% of the essence of communication.  So, if you primarily prepare what you plan to say, you’ve missed out on preparing 93% of your communication. What is this other 93%?  It’s your body language and your tonality. That’s right, more than 90% of the meaning of your message is conveyed not by your words, but by your body language and tone. This is what will make or break your interview.  And how much time do you typically spend preparing the effectiveness of these elements of your communication?  If you’re like most people, almost none.

Body language and tonality are mostly subconscious communication elements.  That is, we are not consciously thinking about, paying attention to and choosing these moment by moment while we communicate.  They are shaped by our mood, our inner voice, our state of being, at a subconscious level.

As the athletes know, winning is mostly a mental game.  That is, believing, and really being congruent behind your belief, are key. It’s no different in communication.  To be an effective communicator, to have your tonality and body language supporting your message and your objective, is an inner, mental game.

So, how can you make yourself a winner in your “games”?  How can you prepare way beyond your “script” and ensure that you get the gold – the job offer, the sale, the result you were hoping for?

Belief – The #1 Essential Winning Strategy

When you know you are the right person for the job, or that your offer can really help this person, then your body language and your tonality will naturally and powerfully communicate this.

If you can’t easily visualize the outcome you desire as if it’s already happened, and see it unfolding that way in your inner view, chances are your tone of voice and your body language will reveal your doubt. Despite all the effort you put into carefully designing what you’ll say, the message you communicate will be “I’m not the right one for this job,” or “You probably don’t want to buy this.”

Imagination – Your Best Tool

To get congruent so that all of your communication elements – words, tone and body language – are projecting what you want to get across, you can use the amazing power of ….. your imagination.

If you were about to get on stage to give the performance of your life, wouldn’t you rehearse?  Well – how about it?  Set aside time and rehearse, much as you would if you were about to do a theatrical performance.  Imagine it as vividly as you can, including the surroundings, what you are wearing, what the other person or people are like, what they say, and what you say.  Imagine feeling strong and confident.  Imagine it all the way through, from the very beginning, all the way to “winning” and the feelings of triumph and jubilation that accompany the win.

Your Inner Doubter Can Be Your Best Ally

Unlike a pre-scripted performance, you’ll also want to rehearse how you will deal with any “curve balls” they may throw your way.  Get really creative.  Here’s where your inner doubter can become your best ally.  All of the “but what ifs” that this inner doubter can come up with – rehearse the best possible scenario that would still move you forward toward your desired outcome. Play and have some fun with this.  The more bases you cover, the less likely you are to get tripped up during the real event.

It’s especially powerful to actually speak out loud as you do this rehearsing – practice actually getting the words out of your mouth, and experience for yourself whether or not you “sound convincing.”

Practice, Practice Practice

Because your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between the real event, and this imagined one (just think of the emotions you can experience while sitting in a comfortable seat in a movie theater), each time you imagine it is real.  Athletes use this all the time, going through their event in their mind hundreds of times, so that by the time they arrive at the competition, it’s just another replay, rather than “the first time”.  You can do this, too, so that your next interview is just another in a long line of successes.

The more you use this technique of rehearsing, and imagining the optimal outcome, the more you can also increase your belief, your overall sense that it will turn out the way you’re hoping – for example, that you will get a job offer, or get the sale.  Take your practice runs all the way through to getting the desired result and feeling the excitement of the win.  This is crucial to the process, because it increases your belief, and that will show up in your communication in terms of body language and tonality that are congruent with being the winner, and achieving the desired result.

Prepare your mental game, and you’ll increase your chances of a successful outcome.  Don’t wait for “real” opportunities to practice.  You can master most anything with enough practice, and practice is one of the easiest things to do – simply set aside the time, and leverage the power of your amazing mind to increase your odds of winning.  Run through it over and over again until you can do it in your sleep.  Perhaps you know some people you can bring into your game, and have them play some of the other characters in your practices.  This can be a powerful way to practice as well, but it isn’t necessary – your own imagination is enough.  The more times you play it through successfully in advance, the more likely you’ll get the result you’re striving for.

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Stop Having Goals – Start Achieving Them!

“Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can achieve.”

– Napoleon Hill

It is completely possible to fulfill your goals. The first essential step is simple – you need to know what you want.  If you don’t know what you want, if you don’t have clear written goals – Do That First.

For the sake of this article, I’m going to assume that you have some goals you haven’t achieved.  Maybe you’ve wished you were healthier, had more money, weighed less, had more harmony in your relationship, were in a relationship….

I’m also going to assume you know some of the things you need to do to fulfill these goals.  And I’ll assume that you’ve intended to fulfill them, but you didn’t have “enough willpower.”  In fact, willpower isn’t enough. Willpower is a function of your conscious mind, and your conscious mind only determines what you do about 5% of the time.  The rest of the time you’re running on autopilot, otherwise known as your subconscious mind.  So when you rely on willpower, you do get some results – but it’s simply not enough.

If it’s not about willpower, then what is the key to achieving?

1) Create Support Structures

The structures in your life: what you do with your time, the expectations of the people around you, your agreements with others, what you have around you; all of these are structures that promote or interfere with different behaviors. For example, if you want to exercise more, and currently spend a lot of time in front of the TV, put the TV in a closet, and put exercise equipment (your walking or running shoes, for example) in a readily accessibly spot. Schedule time in your day for exercise. Get an exercise buddy, and exercise with them.  Changing any one of these structures will greatly increase the likelihood that you will increase your exercise.  Changing all three can ensure you do.

2) Get Into Action

Too often we simply don’t make things happen with our goals in a timely fashion, and as a result, we get used to the feeling of the unfulfilled goals.  Any goal that you’ve had for 6 months or more, and still have, you have likely gone numb about.  When you think about it, if you still do, your motivation is likely very low. You’ve developed a level of toleration for this unfulfilled goal that is itself keeping you stuck.

To break free of the weight of tolerating this goal, the key is to get into action. Ask yourself, “What is one thing I could do to move toward achieving this goal?” The scope of the action is irrelevant.  What is important is that you ACT.  Physics shows that an object at rest has something called inertia, which is the scientific name for the feeling of stuckness and resistance to even getting started.  Science also tells us that with movement comes momentum –an object in motion is easier to keep moving, and in fact even has a tendency to keep moving.

What could you do to get the ball rolling?  Perhaps you could make a list of people to call for help on your project.  Or support your diet by rounding up and giving away all the sweets in the house. Or start your exercise program by borrowing an exercise DVD from a friend. When I wanted to kick start my diet and exercise commitment, I got a DVD from the library and committed to working out with it 5 or more times each week.  It worked – this practice helped me get into a new habit of exercising regularly.

3) Get Accountable

Perhaps you’ve noticed that the easiest person to break commitments with is yourself.  In fact, for most people, there really is not such thing as a promise made to themselves. It just doesn’t happen.  So, if you know this about yourself, create outside accountability.

Sometimes it’s enough to just let another person know your commitment, and have a time to check back in with them to acknowledge that you have done so.  However, if there is some inertia with a goal, it can be very helpful to promise that you’ll do something painful if you don’t take your action. For example, you could agree to give money (to them, or a charity) if you don’t follow through on your commitment.

So, how can you move from tolerating your unmet goals, to achieving them? The first step is to make the choice to apply what you’ve learned here.  Start by changing the structures around you to support you in achieving your goal. Identify and take action to get in momentum toward fulfilling the goal, and set up some accountability to help ensure your success.

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No More Miscommunications! The Essential Keys to Creating Understanding

What is the impact of miscommunication in your business and your life? How often are you frustrated that “they” didn’t get what you meant? Do you find yourself doing what you think “they” wanted, only to find out it wasn’t?

Whether “they” are your customer, your employer, your employee, your spouse, parent, child or friend, miscommunications are costly, and all too common. Is there an alternative?

Believe it or not, you can, single handedly, put an end to miscommunications.  That’s right – even if “they” never change, just by learning a few simple strategies and practicing them diligently, you can stop suffering from the lost time, wasted effort, and emotional drain of misunderstandings. Want to know how?

The Keys to Creating Understanding

As the Speaker – The Meaning of Your Communication is What They Heard, NOT What You Meant

When it comes to communicating without misunderstandings, the single most important thing you can do as the speaker is to give up any attachment to what you believe meant.  It’s basically irrelevant. The meaning your listener receives is what they are left with.  That is your communication – what they believe you meant. That’s what they’ll base their reaction or response on. That essentially IS your communication.

Speaking is All About Listening

So, if the meaning of what you said is what they heard – now what?  Become a great listener.  That’s right – the key to being an effective speaker, one who gets their point across well, is to be a fabulous listener.

Listen to What They Heard

The first step is to ask your listener what they heard. When they respond, don’t check how good their listening was, and correct them. Listen for what you need to correct about how you said it.  Try to understand what assumptions they may have that are influencing their listening, and see how to take this into account to be clearer. Apologize for not being clear, and say it differently. Encourage them to ask questions, and work together to create a common understanding.

Listen to the Subtle Cues

Listening goes beyond just hearing the words someone says.  Tune in and listen to your intuition.  Are you absolutely confident that they heard it the way you meant it?  Or is there a small doubt, maybe in your stomach somewhere, a hesitation?  A good rule is, “When in doubt, check it out.” Ask them.

You also want to observe their subtle cues.  Are they behaving the way you would expect them to if they heard what you meant to say, or is something a bit off.  Again, check it out. Ask, and listen for opportunities to clarify and sort through any potential misunderstandings.  The sooner you do this, the less time there is for trouble to brew.

The bottom line – as the speaker, your primary job is to listen – to be in tune with the person to whom you are speaking and not consider the communication complete until you have confirmed that what they heard is what you meant.

When You’re Listening – Listen for What They Meant

In the role of the listener, the opportunity is to take responsibility to understand what they meant.  Again, the easiest way to accomplish this is to ask clarifying questions, until you’re really certain.

Don’t Assume Anything

Make sure you avoid the common pitfall of reacting to what you think they meant.  How many times has someone said something to you, and you immediately felt your blood rise, or a knot form in your stomach, or the impulse to blurt out a response?  What if these reactions were more about what you thought they meant, than what they really meant?  What if you paused, gave them the benefit of the doubt, and asked clarifying questions? How much of the potential upset, conflict or confusion might be avoided if you didn’t assume and react?

The other place where assuming gets you in trouble is when you think to yourself, “Oh yeah, I know what that is,” or “I know what they mean.” And you start thinking, and eventually acting, based on an assumption that wasn’t fully accurate.  For example, maybe they were asking you to do something for them, and you, thinking you understood, went to do it, only to find out after you’d put in considerable effort that they weren’t asking for that, but rather something else.

Take Responsibility, Ask More Questions, and Watch the Clarity Unfold

Ultimately you have the power to create remarkably clear communications, every single time.  Catch yourself in the act of assuming or reacting, whether you are the “listener” or the “speaker”.  Slow down.  Ask more questions.  Give it a try.  After all, what is there to lose, other than a lot of

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A Simple Key to Dramatically Increase Your Effectiveness: Learn to Love What You Need to Do

For each of us, there are tasks we’d rather not have to do.  You know which these are. What are those things you need to do that you just dread?  Or that always drift to the bottom of your to do list?  Which ones do you never find time for?  Maybe it’s completing a project and tying up all the loose ends.  Maybe it’s making sales calls. Or organizing your desk so you can find what you need when you need it.

We all have them, these least favorite tasks that we consciously or unconsciously avoid, and thus sabotage our effectiveness.  Wouldn’t it be great if these weren’t a problem any longer?  If it were easy, maybe even fun, to do them?  Imagine the sense of relief and accomplishment if it became routine and almost effortless to do the things you currently dread or avoid.

Can it happen?  Absolutely.  In fact, with a little attention you can begin to feel a shift immediately.

So, how can you learn to love these tasks you need to do?

Remember a Time When

Using this simple tool will completely change your relationship to this task.  When you dread or avoid doing something, it’s because of the movie you’re playing on your internal movie screen, and the mood that movie produces.  This movie plays automatically.  You didn’t decide to visualize it (for some people it’s not visual, but a felt sense of a scene that I would still call a movie), it’s just there, automatically, just below the surface of your consciousness.  When you stop to tune in, there it is.

Check it out right now.  Think about doing the task you’d like to learn to love. What do you imagine, in your internal theater, when you think about doing it?  Do you imagine it being drudgery? Or not turning out well? Or taking forever to accomplish? Maybe you can’t imagine actually doing it at all, but instead see yourself just sitting there, not knowing where to start, or feeling overwhelmed.

Notice how you feel when you think about doing your task, and the movie plays.  Notice your mood.  No wonder you avoid and delay and sometimes simply “forget” to do this!  Who would want to feel like that!

So, a key step is to change this movie – to replace it with one that uplifts your mood. For this, dig back into your memory to remember a time when you did this task, and you felt empowered, uplifted, accomplished, or some other positive emotion. Perhaps it was simply the satisfaction of having it done.  Or maybe you had a delightful unexpected result.  For example, a client of mine recently shared about a sales call on which she met someone who became a new dear friend. It could be that you simply produced the desired result, and it felt great, like a sales call where you made the sale.

If you can’t remember a time when you did this task and felt great, that’s OK, too. In this case, you have the opportunity to write an entirely new movie to project in your inner theater.  You get to create your own best possible version. The key is to script out and visualize (or play through as a deeply felt sense without visuals, if that is how your inner theater works) all of the steps along the way, not just the movie’s ending. See yourself beginning the task, and being surprised it’s so easy.  See each step along the way flow smoothly from the last.  Perhaps you find yourself pleasantly surprised. Maybe help shows up at just the right moment.  Perhaps there’s music playing as you work, and you find yourself humming along. Be outrageous.  This doesn’t ever need to actually happen, or be able to happen – just like in the movies!

Once you’ve identified a memory of a time when, or created a new movie from your imagination, this will be an incredibly powerful tool for you to shift your relationship to this task.

Now, play out the memory or fantasy movie (or both if you like, for “extra credit”).  Notice how you feel now.  Empowered? Up? Ready? What would it be like if this were the mood you associate with this task?  From here on, each time you think about doing this task, or are about to begin it, play your new movie.  Take the time to savor the feelings, to embellish and really revel in it. Now begin your task in this state, and see how it’s different. If you notice your mood going south again in the middle of the task, STOP and play the movie again. Over time this will take less and less effort, as the new positive association becomes your habit, and you begin to love this thing you need to do.Don’t take my word for it, try it on.  I think you’ll be amazed!

Then leave some comments below, and let me know how it’s going!


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Choose Your Mood – How to Gain Control Over The Most Important Tool For Creating The Life You Choose

Your mood, in a significant way, is your life.  Your predominant mood establishes the tone for your life.  If your mood is predominantly happy, content, or another positive mood, chances are you’ll say you’re having a good life.  And if your mood is predominantly negative, well…

What mood are you in right now? How did you come to be in this mood? Do you ever wonder where your moods come from?  Do you experience having a choice about them, or do they just seem to happen to you?

The good news is, research in positive psychology and related fields is proving that you can take control of your mood, learn to be more optimistic, even happier, and thus create a better life for yourself.

There are three basic ways moods happen:

  • without our knowing;
  • when something happens, be it something good, or something bad; and
  • because we chose to do something about a mood, and deliberately changed it.

When you wake up in the morning, what mood do you find yourself in?  Do you tend to notice the mood, or is your first awareness a thought like, “Oh no, is it time to get up already?”  Or “Uh oh, I forgot to.…”  And now those will get you in a mood, won’t they?

When you start your day with “Oh no,” or “Uh oh,” the sour mood that creates can have a powerful negative impact on your day, and on your overall well-being.  If you don’t intervene, you’ve just set the stage for many other things to go wrong, feel wrong, and create stress throughout your day.

Likewise, if you start your day with gratitude for the sunrise, or appreciation that you woke up before your alarm, or excitement about what’s on the agenda for the day and the possibilities, that mood will also likely impact your entire day, and your well-being, this time for the positive.

So how can you take charge of your moods, and become a predominantly happier person?

Catch Yourself in the Act
Many of us have habits of thinking that put us in a bad mood.  Self-criticism, worrying, regretting – all of these are thought loops we run, like an old CD we forgot to take out of the stereo, without realizing we can choose something else.  The next time you find yourself doing one of these negative bad mood thought habits, STOP.  Don’t beat yourself up for it (that would just be more of the same). Simply remove that old CD, and put in a new one.  You could literally turn on some music and listen to that rather than thinking. You might try telling yourself you’re not going to waste another minute on that, and then think about something else.  Anything would be a step up from continuing to indulge those old negative thought habits.

Focus on Positive Thoughts
You can create new, positive thought habits, put some good new CDs on your player, by creating a discipline for yourself of thinking positive thoughts.  For example, start a gratitude journal, and focus at least once a day on things you’re grateful for. Get in the habit of acknowledging and appreciating people. Let yourself vision your own positive future.  Any time you spend thinking positive thoughts is time well spent!

One simple way to refocus your thinking is to ask yourself (and others, by the way) questions that help focus on the positive, such as:

  • What am I grateful for?
  • What am I proud of?
  • What am I happy about?
  • Who loves me?
  • Who do I love?
  • How have I contributed?

Change Your Language
Your words, both spoke out loud and spoken to yourself in your thoughts, have great power to influence your mood.  Phrases like “I can’t…” as in, “I can’t afford that” will bring you down. Replace that with, “I am preparing to…” Or even “I choose to…” and notice how different you feel.

Every time you describe something from your past as if it were happening now (even if the last time it happened was just a moment ago) you are bringing yourself down. There is great power in leaving the past behind, beginning with your language, and being optimistic about the possibility that the future may be different.  The simple phrase, “I used to…” or “Up until now I…” can help you to shift your mood, and your behavior, to a whole new possibility.

Don’t Just Stand There, DO Something!
One of the most powerful and simple ways to change your mood is to get into action.  A simple shift in your posture (look up, stand tall, chin up) will lift your mood.  Moving your body, as in exercise or dancing, will elevate your mood, even if it’s not strenuous. Play upbeat music, and watch what happens to your mood.  Or, sing a song yourself!

Take It On and Feel the Difference
You can retrain your predominant mood by making some or all of these suggestions standard daily practices.  Start your day by reciting or writing what you’re grateful for. Before you start working, and throughout the day, stand up, look up, even jump up, and pick up your mood. Acknowledge and appreciate others at every opportunity. Play music in the background as you work, or clean, or cook. Exercise every day. Breath deeply and enjoy the moment.  One of my favorites – hold my hands under the water and enjoy how it feels each time I wash up in the bathroom – quick, easy, uplifting.

Play with it – find your favorites, and lift your mood.  It’s up to you to take charge of the quality of your life.


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Switching Roles With Grace and Ease – How To Master Daily Transitions

How many different roles do you play each day? Chances are the list is long: employee, manager, colleague, homemaker, spouse, parent, child, friend, customer, and more. Each role requires something different from you, and if you’re not conscious of making the change, and making sure you’re being appropriate to what’s called for from you in each role, there can be consequences. Even just switching from one to the other can be jarring and stressful.

How can you reduce the impact of all the role switching, reduce the stress, and increase your comfort and ease? Here are three powerful strategies to ensure your success:

1) Be Deliberate About What You Want to Create As You Switch Roles
Before you enter each new role, you have the opportunity to choose how you want things to go, and mentally and emotionally align yourself with your positive choice. To do this, you will want to leverage your powers of imagination and visualization to mentally rehearse the coming scene. Imagine it’s a movie, and you’re creating it. Play it out in your mind before you play it out in time and space. Because the subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between what’s “really happening” and what you imagine, mental rehearsal is incredibly powerful. It was originally discovered as a key for training astronauts, and is now used by all top athletes, and many top performers in every field.

In the case of transitioning between roles, you can literally program yourself for success by taking a few moments before you engage in your next role, to pause and imagine how you want things to go. For instance, if you’re coming home from “work” and transitioning to the role of parent or spouse, imagine walking through the door. How do you want to greet the people inside? What feeling tone do you want to create? What would make the time with them special, easy, uplifting? Watch the movie unfold, and feel the good feelings you would feel. Play this out, and you’ll be amazed how things go when you “actually” walk in the door.

2) Choose Your Mood
Another key is to shift your state, or mood, before you head into the next role. Some quick and simple techniques for this include:
- get a little exercise;
- listen or dance to an uplifting piece of music;
- sing a song;
- meditate;
- write or say out loud 5 or more things you are grateful for;
- write or say out loud 5 or more successes, wins you’ve had that day;
- take a moment to focus on what you love or appreciate or wins you have had in the role you are about to enter.

Any one or more of these will shift your mood, and allow you to enter into your next role more balanced, centered and grounded.

3) Put Down What You Were Doing
It’s important when shifting gears between different roles to let go of where you just were, and what you were doing. The worst part of having multiple roles is carrying them all with you all of the time. It quickly becomes quite a load!

Despite all the talk about multitasking, the truth is you do best when you focus on where you are and what you’re doing RIGHT NOW. To help release the feeling that you need to hang on, remember, or keep track of things, I recommend a process I call bookmarking. Create a bookmark for yourself, so you are able to easily put down your role, and pick it up again when it’s time to return to it.

You can create a bookmark by writing yourself a note about what you were doing, what worked and what didn’t work, what you’d like to remember and where you’ll want to pick up when you re-enter that role. This can also be done with a voice recorder. If you’ve got a car ride between roles, for example, use that time to record a message to yourself acknowledging what you accomplished, what’s next, and all the things you want to make sure you remember. Speaking or writing all this helps you let go and put it aside until it’s time to deal with it again. Then when you’re headed back to this role, job, etc., listen to your recording and you’ll be primed and ready to go.

Whatever strategies you choose, the key is to be deliberate about shifting from one role to the next. Bringing the agenda, stress, assumptions and ways of being from the previous role into the next situation is a recipe for trouble. Be conscious and take steps to ensure that you are present and available to be appropriate to the upcoming role each time you transition, and you’ll be amazed how much more grounded, peaceful, and effective you will be.

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Four Keys to Turning Any Problem Into An Opportunity

What’s the difference between a problem, and an opportunity?  Isn’t it obvious?  If your response to that question is that obviously, it’s the circumstances – think again.  Have you ever heard of or seen two people achieving different outcomes, even though they began with the same circumstances?

For example, in the midst of an economic downturn, might one say that every company might expect to be similarly effected?  Well, what about the ones that prosper?  What makes the difference?  The difference is in the response to the circumstances. For example, one luxury car dealership did very well during the economic downturn in the early ‘90s.  How?  They gathered their staff and brainstormed and experimented with extraordinary responses to the problem at hand – no one was buying their luxury cars.  The one that worked? They brought the cars down to the local country club and offered test drives.  Sales went through the roof.

How do you respond in the face of problems? Do you get creative? Or discouraged?  Do you look on the bright side? Or see all the things you don’t want to see? Here are 4 keys to turning this around in your own life, so that, like that luxury car dealership, you can thrive, even in challenging circumstances.

*  “What if this were happening FOR me?”

Most people’s automatic response to a negative circumstance is to feel that it’s happening TO them. It’s easy to fall into a victim mode, and wallow in that.  What if, instead, you were to ask yourself, “What if this were happening FOR me?” How is this ultimately contributing to me? How is it for my greater good?

*  “What opportunities is this opening up for me that weren’t there before?”

Sometimes, when you lose the thing you most feared losing, it can free up a lot of energy.  For example, if you were afraid to pursue your passion because it would mean giving up your job, and then you lose your job, well, time to pursue that passion!  Or if you no longer have the opportunity to do something you used to spend a lot of time at, what does that free up time for?  Or if a relationship ends, what does that make available?  And how might you step out and create something even better?

*   “What do I really want?”

Every complaint, every negative, is an indication that there’s something you want that you don’t have.  No one complains unless there’s some other option they believe would be better.  So, if you’ve encountered a problem, use it as a pointer to what you want.  Just turn around and shift your focus.  Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, you can even make a list of all of the reasons you’re seeing it as a problem, and then for each one, write down one or more things you can now see you want.  And once you know what you want, focus on and move toward it!

*   “If I knew there was no such thing as failure, what would I do next?”

Once you’re seeing how this is happening FOR you, and you’ve uncovered the hidden opportunities, and clarified what you want, it’s time to get into action. Set some new goals, make plans, and start.  “But what if I fail?” you ask. Afterall, this all began with a problem. How can you take more risks?  Easy.  Understand that there is no failure.  The difference between success and failure is simply this: Success comes from flexibility, creativity, and tenacity.  Failure occurs when people quit.  Look at Thomas Edison, and how many failed attempts he made before he actually invented the light bulb.  As he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Think about this – Mattie Christianson was born with no arms past the elbows, no legs past the knees.  Yet when he was 11, he was the pitcher on his winning softball team.  This wise young man said, “You have to give up all your excuses.”  He simply didn’t accept failure, or limitations.  If he can do that, what could you do?

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Simple Steps To Set Yourself Up To Win With Your Personal Goals

All too often accomplishing the things others count on us for – whether it’s work objectives, taking care of things for the family, or showing up for friends – take priority over personal goals. If follow-through is a challenge for you, these simple steps can be tremendously helpful.

#1 Take the time to get clear on your personal goals.

This doesn’t have to be a major amount of time.  What’s important is to ask yourself the question, “What do I want?”  Not just once, but over and over, and let it flow. Even better, do it with a friend and both of you will get clearer.

#2 Get clear about why your goals matter to you.

Sometimes it’s not enough to know your goal.  It still gets bumped to the back of the line. Why do you have this goal?  What would it mean to you to accomplish it?  What would that give you?  What would be the cost of not achieving that goal?

Keep your “why” front and center in your awareness by writing it down and referring to it regularly, or simply bringing it to mind as a way to sustain your motivation.

#3 Break the goals down into simple steps.

Almost every goal can be viewed in terms of simple actions, or phases, that make it more manageable.  Knowing the steps will help you to find time for them. You don’t need to plan it all out in advance.  Identify the first few steps and begin.  Or, if you prefer, you can plan it all out, even “reverse engineer” it. (Reverse engineering means to start from the last thing that will need to happen just before your goal is complete, then the step immediately before that, and so on.  This can be a very effective planning methodology, and is especially helpful if you feel you don’t know how to start.)

#4 Create routines around your goals.

When a task has a regular time and place it fits into your day, it takes much less initiation energy to make it happen.  You almost don’t even need to remember.  Most of us have routines around getting up and out of the house in the morning, or winding down for bed at night.  If you have a goal that would benefit from consistent daily action, say a fitness goal, or a food or weight-related goal, or even something like writing a book, placing it in a consistent position in your day, always after X and before Y, can help make it happen.

#5 Create support for yourself.

One of the biggest challenges with personal goals is that no one else is clamoring at you about them. Just that voice inside, the one that is too often overridden.  Create a support structure: an exercise buddy; someone else who’s on the diet, too; or an accountability partner (someone you share with each day about your progress and upcoming intentions), just to get it outside your own head.

#6 Celebrate your progress.

Too often we withhold celebration until we reach the end goal, and miss out on the energy boosts we could be getting along the way.  Make daily celebration of your progress part of your routine.  Even if the progress today was simply learning about what didn’t work, make that a cause for celebration, and incorporate the learning.  Celebration can be as simple as a moment to acknowledge yourself, a note in a success journal, or a moment of speaking aloud to yourself in the mirror.  Or it can be a reward you give yourself.  Choose rewards that support your goals and provide incentive.

#7 Start each day with a clean slate.

Don’t bring forward your failures. You don’t say to a baby, “Well, you didn’t manage to walk yesterday, so you probably won’t be able to today, either.”  Let yesterday stay in the past, and look freshly at how you’ll approach today.  Allow each day to potentially be the day you make a huge leap forward.

#8 Stay open to inspiration.

Don’t get stuck in having to know how, or believing that how you planned it is how it will have to happen.  When you keep your goals present, and BELIEVE you can achieve them, miracles and inspiration can and do happen.  You can count on it.

You deserve to win with your personal goals.  And when you do, the added boost to your spirit will benefit everyone and everything around you.  But, most importantly, YOU will be winning.

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Overcoming Obstacles to Success: Increasing Your Possibility Quotient

“I can’t do that.”  “That will never happen.”  “It’s just not possible, or at least, it’s certainly not likely.” “It would be way too hard.”

How often do you give up on a dream, or a desire, or an idea, deciding it’s not possible before you even try?  When was the last time you truly broke the mold and stepped into a whole new reality?

Let Yourself Dream

Close your eyes for a minute, and ask yourself, “What would I love to be, do or have in my life?”  What’s there when you look?  Can you allow yourself to dream?  Is there a career you’d rather be in?  Would you love to travel? Would you rather live in a different location, maybe a different climate? Do you wish you had more time for some of the things you love to do?

For most children, the sky is the limit.  Anything is possible.  Just ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and you’ll hear all the big dreams an unlimited self can dream.  So what happened? Why is it that by the time you reached adulthood that space of possibility is gone, and the window on what’s possible shows such a narrow sliver?

The Power of What You Tell Yourself

Your sense of what’s possible, what could happen in your life, operates much like a thermostat. Decisions and life experiences as you were growing up helped to set that thermostat. Just like the thermostat in your home that helps maintain your temperature, you have a system within you that regulates what you can see as possible, what appears to be within your reach in life. Your self-talk is a part of that system. It helps to maintain the status quo, or homeostasis in the level or type of success you experience, and expect.

When you tell yourself something, like, “I can’t do that,” you are literally programming your subconscious mind.  The subconscious is a kind of supercomputer, with tremendous capabilities, but no decision-making power, no ability to make what we think of as choices.  So when you tell your subconscious, “I can’t do that,” it doesn’t argue, it doesn’t interpret, it just makes sure that you can’t – it literally does what you program in.

Choice is the responsibility of your conscious mind. Your conscious mind can break out of the programming, and want something new, something different. Your conscious mind can dream up new possibilities.  Unfortunately, your conscious mind is not nearly as powerful as your subconscious.  The subconscious is the supercomputer.  It runs all the physical systems of your body.  It’s the part that learned to drive, and can do it without any conscious attention from you.

Your conscious mind has a much smaller role.  It thinks, plans, dreams, chooses.  It can only focus on one thing at a time, while your subconscious can handle literally thousands of simultaneous functions.

Your conscious mind is only in charge about 5-10% of the time, according to the scientists. This is why changing a habitual behavior can be such a struggle. You can decide to do something new or different, but then the conscious mind goes on to other things, and the subconscious takes over.  Your subconscious runs programs that were previously installed. It doesn’t pay much attention to a one-time new command.  That new command is overridden by the tried and true programs already in operation.

Reset Your Possibility “Thermostat”

So how do you change your set point for possibility?  How do you allow yourself to dream, and how can you open and allow your dreams to flourish, take life, and become your reality?

One essential key is to change your self-talk.  Stop reinforcing the old computer programming.  Start to become aware of the self-limiting self-talk, and each time you notice, change it.  Here are some suggestions:

“I can’t” -> “I could”

“It’s not possible” -> “I wonder how”

“It’s too hard” -> “How could I”

“I have to” -> “I could choose to….., or I could…”

Another key is to breath some life into what you truly want, into your dreams, by creating goals and revisiting them daily.  Look out into your future, and allow yourself to envision how you want your life to be – in 6 months, a year, 5 years.  Write it.  Picture it in your mind.  Feel how you will feel when it’s reality. (For more on this, see my article…http://www.coachdinyah.com or download a free audio on setting and acting on your goals http://www.coachdinyah.com/replay)

To reprogram your subconscious mind, you need to imprint new habits, and erase or write over the old ones.  Consciously altering your self-talk as much as you can (whenever you notice) and consciously focusing on a future of your choosing are two keys to this process.

The best time to start this process?  Right now!  What are you telling yourself about these suggestions?  How about, “I can do this!  I’m starting right now!  This will make a big difference for me!”

Good luck with it!  Let me know how it goes.

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Six Strategies to Create More Time

It’s true.  Have you noticed how fast January zipped by this year?  My gosh, it’s mid-February already. At this rate, 2010 will be over before we know it.  It may be over before you even figure out what you want your goals for the year to be (so sit yourself down and get those spelled out, before any more time rushes by. If you haven’t already, download and listen to this free audio for goal creation tips http://www.CoachDinyah.com/replay).

Perhaps you’ve heard the rumors about time speeding up, or at least the relative experience of time.  And perhaps your personal experience adds evidence to the theory. What to do?  How can you create time for the things that matter to you?

Plug the Energy Drains

What is an energy drain?  It’s all the things you think you should have done, but haven’t. It’s the things in your environment that annoy you.  It’s the projects you feel badly about not completing.

All of these suck energy, and even time (often spent on negative self-talk).  You’d be amazed how much of your time and energy is spent not doing.

Put them on a list, and start getting them done, or else abandon them completely.  Make a game of it.  Involve other people.  Enroll your friends, and work together on each other’s lists.  Delegate.  Getting momentum here will literally add time, and energy, to your life.

Just Say No

It’s time to give up being every else’s go to person.  Stop the automatic “yes” habit. Of course it feels good to help others, but not at the expense of your self, and your own priorities.  Start by delaying your yes.  Let the person know you’ll sleep on it, and ask them to check back with you.  Often, they’ll find another way to handle it in the time between. Meanwhile, you need to look at the cost to you, and your priorities, of saying yes, and make a more considered choice.

There are kind and considerate ways to say no.  They include, “Thank you for asking me, however I just don’t see how that fits for me at this time,” “I’m sorry, but I’m just full up with other commitments right now,” or “I trust that you’ll find a way to get that accomplished, and right now I just don’t see that I’m the one.”

Don’t Multitask, MultiPurpose!

I’m a big believer in having everything you do fulfill multiple needs you have.  Never do something that fulfills just one purpose, if you can help it.  Cook a meal with someone, either in person, or on the phone, so you’re also catching up and deepening your connections. Cleaning the house? Put on headphones and listen to something educational or inspirational. Same with exercising – add a buddy to make it also social, get out in nature and/or add educational or inspirational audio to the mix.

Apply Leverage

Perhaps you’ve heard about using leverage in the context of investing – Robert Kiyosaki and others talk a lot about leverage as a key tool to get out of the financial rat race.  Well, it’s the same with the time rat race – to stop running and running with no sense of ever getting anywhere, apply leverage.

Furthering more than one objective with an action is a form of leverage. Teaming up with others is another form of leverage. For example, trade off grocery shopping and errands with a friend – you do it this week, I’ll do it next. Form a supper club, in which you cook a meal for two families tonight, a little more work, but then they cook for you another night, a big savings. Delegating is another way to leverage your time – pay someone less than what you earn in an hour to do work for you.

Eat the Frog

This recommendation comes from Brian Tracy, in a well-known book by this title.  Basically, start with the biggest, most confronting and highest impact projects or tasks first.  Resist the temptation to pick off the small, easy tasks, and save the more imposing ones for later.  Eat the frogs first!  After you have you’ll be energized by your accomplishment, and everything else will be easy by comparison.

Wait for Inspiration

Waiting sounds counter to everything else I’ve recommended here.  However, there are times when it is a vital strategy.  This is especially true when contrasted with trying to force something to happen.  If you’re out of sync, and what you’re doing, or  trying to do, feels hard, if there’s struggle , try waiting.

While you’re waiting, turn your attention somewhere else, get something else accomplished.  Do something that will change your mood that will uplift you.

Listen and be open to inspiration.  Perhaps that wasn’t the best possible approach, and as you back off and give it space, a new inspiration will come to you.

As you apply some or all of these strategies, you’ll find yourself with more time, and more energy.  Time and energy that you created, and that you can use for your self, and your priorities.

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