For each of us, there are tasks we’d rather not have to do. You know which these are. What are those things you need to do that you just dread? Or that always drift to the bottom of your to do list? Which ones do you never find time for? Maybe it’s completing a project and tying up all the loose ends. Maybe it’s making sales calls. Or organizing your desk so you can find what you need when you need it.
We all have them, these least favorite tasks that we consciously or unconsciously avoid, and thus sabotage our effectiveness. Wouldn’t it be great if these weren’t a problem any longer? If it were easy, maybe even fun, to do them? Imagine the sense of relief and accomplishment if it became routine and almost effortless to do the things you currently dread or avoid.
Can it happen? Absolutely. In fact, with a little attention you can begin to feel a shift immediately.
So, how can you learn to love these tasks you need to do?
Remember a Time When
Using this simple tool will completely change your relationship to this task. When you dread or avoid doing something, it’s because of the movie you’re playing on your internal movie screen, and the mood that movie produces. This movie plays automatically. You didn’t decide to visualize it (for some people it’s not visual, but a felt sense of a scene that I would still call a movie), it’s just there, automatically, just below the surface of your consciousness. When you stop to tune in, there it is.
Check it out right now. Think about doing the task you’d like to learn to love. What do you imagine, in your internal theater, when you think about doing it? Do you imagine it being drudgery? Or not turning out well? Or taking forever to accomplish? Maybe you can’t imagine actually doing it at all, but instead see yourself just sitting there, not knowing where to start, or feeling overwhelmed.
Notice how you feel when you think about doing your task, and the movie plays. Notice your mood. No wonder you avoid and delay and sometimes simply “forget” to do this! Who would want to feel like that!
So, a key step is to change this movie – to replace it with one that uplifts your mood. For this, dig back into your memory to remember a time when you did this task, and you felt empowered, uplifted, accomplished, or some other positive emotion. Perhaps it was simply the satisfaction of having it done. Or maybe you had a delightful unexpected result. For example, a client of mine recently shared about a sales call on which she met someone who became a new dear friend. It could be that you simply produced the desired result, and it felt great, like a sales call where you made the sale.
If you can’t remember a time when you did this task and felt great, that’s OK, too. In this case, you have the opportunity to write an entirely new movie to project in your inner theater. You get to create your own best possible version. The key is to script out and visualize (or play through as a deeply felt sense without visuals, if that is how your inner theater works) all of the steps along the way, not just the movie’s ending. See yourself beginning the task, and being surprised it’s so easy. See each step along the way flow smoothly from the last. Perhaps you find yourself pleasantly surprised. Maybe help shows up at just the right moment. Perhaps there’s music playing as you work, and you find yourself humming along. Be outrageous. This doesn’t ever need to actually happen, or be able to happen – just like in the movies!
Once you’ve identified a memory of a time when, or created a new movie from your imagination, this will be an incredibly powerful tool for you to shift your relationship to this task.
Now, play out the memory or fantasy movie (or both if you like, for “extra credit”). Notice how you feel now. Empowered? Up? Ready? What would it be like if this were the mood you associate with this task? From here on, each time you think about doing this task, or are about to begin it, play your new movie. Take the time to savor the feelings, to embellish and really revel in it. Now begin your task in this state, and see how it’s different. If you notice your mood going south again in the middle of the task, STOP and play the movie again. Over time this will take less and less effort, as the new positive association becomes your habit, and you begin to love this thing you need to do.Don’t take my word for it, try it on. I think you’ll be amazed!
Then leave some comments below, and let me know how it’s going!
Hi Dinyah,
I did it. I changed my movie about making follow-up calls. I now have a new movie the actually gets me pretty excited and even looking forward to this task. Thanks for this great strategy.
Anita
Ok. I tried this. But it wasn’t effective for me. Maybe need more practice?
What does work very well for me has been to make a list of all those things (like cleaning off my desk, catching up on filing, etc.) that I would really rather not do. Then I break the list items down into tasks and I try to do 2 tasks per day. I guess I am just one of those “list people” at heart and I love the sense of accomplishment I get by checking things off a list.
Thanks Dinyah!
I was so stressed about taking over the neighborhood watch for my neighborhood. All I felt was anxiety about contacting people. I know that most people just want to meet their neighbors, but I just felt the stess of my self talking to others. Then I remembered a beautiful memory of taking my class to Alcatraz. Kids that had never been to the ocean went on a boat to the island. It was such a joy to sit back and watch 100 people have such a great time. I can hardly wait until everyone in the neighborhood feels like this is a place to belong.